Be True to your Self

When I have darshan with enlightened teachers such as Amma,  I know to always be ready for some profound spiritual lessons.  Of course, there were so many indelible lessons given that are difficult to put into words.  But there was one shining, bright lesson that will forever ring beautifully in my Heart from the most recent darshan with Amma:  Be True to your Self.

Yoga Illumined with Amma

Yoga Illumined with Amma

I’ve posted a photo of a birthday card I got from my buddy Caryn last year that says to Live True, Be You.  Intriguing that I get this as a SMACK in the 3rd eye lesson from Amma as I have always felt that I have tried my very durndest and hardest to do this all my life.  And what I felt happened this time around, was I got to DROP any and all vestige of not being true to my Self.  How did this happen?

Well every time I have the lucky chance to be in the presence of God in Human form – I ask ONE thing:  “Please help me to surrender completely to God’s will.  Please help me to surrender to Amma – God’s mother, the mother of all the Universe.  Not my personal will.  But God’s will be done.”

And SMACK or S.W.A.K.! – God’s will is that I be True to my Self.  How ’bout them apples?

We all grow up in a world of “SHOULDs.”  SHOULDs that are all arguable depending on the culture you were raised in, the people who raised you, what part of the world you happen to be part of.  Keep up with the non-existent JONES(es)!  For example:  You SHOULD be married by the time you’re 27.  You SHOULDn’t have sex before marriage.  You SHOULD believe in God.  You SHOULD have a good job.  You SHOULD own a home.  Etcetera.  And we wonder who imposes these many “SHOULDs.”

And I swear to Allah and Buddha and Moses, throughout the weekend with Amma, every outer “SHOULD” or “SHOULD NOT” –  all the rules given and needed to keep 1500-2000 people in order (Jesus, God in heaven, all the wonderful zoo of people around Amma – bless us all) – were challenged within me.  It was as if every outer guidance was directly contradictory to my inner guidance.  But in technicolor.  Which is what happens around Gurus – all of our hypocrisies get blown up in Neon Lights.  But somehow (after a night of not sleeping and staring nakedly at the monkey-mind), rather than feeling controlled or victimized by my foolish inconsistencies, I found it all funny, laughable.  One example:  “You SHOULD not drink the holy water,” announced a swami very seriously – who then laughed and said he was kidding.  So many of the outer “SHOULDs” I heard, were followed by some inner voice in me that said – “no, Kristina, Sumukhi, go drink the water, otherwise, you’ll spill it and won’t remember where it went.”  A constant test happened between my Inner Self and the Outer Voices — and it was such a beautiful game we had.  Until I understood.  The Lesson.

Be True to my Self.

During the weekend with Amma, I happened to sign up for this horrid Vedic astrology reading with a woman who should not be giving Vedic Astrology readings.  I could feel my inner Self arguing with every mistaken conclusion she came up with.  But there was no point arguing how she mis-read my chart.  It was a painful but laughable error that I could feel was a divine lesson.  Do you want to listen to yet, another charlatan astrologer or do you want to listen to the Self within, Sumukhi?

I remembered Guruji’s (Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati, Ramamurti S. Mishra, M.D.) story of his Father taking him to sixteen (16) Vedic astrologers before one finally could read his chart correctly and told his Father to give him Sanskrit.  So I need to go to 16 more Vedic astrologers to find the correct reading for me.  Or I can just cut it out.  I’ve gone to one really great Jyotish reader and he is in Colorado.  I can count on him.  And enough of the rest of the nonsense.

LiveTrueBeYouListening to the voice of God within is a beautiful surrender to God.  The world needs rules in order to keep crowds of people from stampeding a beautiful hugging saint such as Amma.  One Hug.  One person at a time.  I do feel she would hug us all at once if this would make each of us feel special, individually.  But we do need the one-on-one with a Guru. Because, by golly, God is that CREATIVE.  There are universal laws that apply to all of us.

There are also individual guidances that apply only to the individual in us.

Buddha’s guidance was different from Jesus’ guidance was different from Amma’s guidance is different from Allah’s guidance.  But they all taught and teach the same thing:  love all beings.

All outer rules become nothing in the light of the awakened inner soul.  An awakened inner soul knows when to act and when not to act.  An awakened inner Self knows the difference between human will and Divine will.  An awakened inner Self knows when Fear is talking and when Love is speaking.

This is the work of Yoga: To awaken the True Self.  And once the True Self awakens, the ego must learn to listen.  This is the discipline of yoga.  To allow Divine Will be more powerful than the personal will.  And when you do this, guess what happens?

You end up happy.

Om shantih om,


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